Displaying Self Confidence – Stop the Voices in Your Head Telling You You're Nothing

There's a novel that begins something like, it was the best of times; It was the worst of times, and without being familiar with the book, it's quite possible you'd believe the author was writing about modern day America, as the daily grind to survive has become very challenging.

There is rarely any good economic news in the country and if there is, our hopes are usually dashed by poor foreign economic news, which will negatively affect our economy and for which we have no control over. Unanswered resumes, job interviews which you thought went well, but never receive an offer, hordes of people lined up to apply for a measly hand of poorly paying jobs. It's no wonder a person can quickly feel, not onlyadequate, but rather worthless.

Mental health officials typically dictate a person hearing voices in their head are prime candidates for confinement, or at least a serious evaluation to determine mental competency, but those rules no longer apply to today's standards, as millions of people hear demons inside.

"You're worthless," "You'll never get that job," and "Why try" are but a few of the thousands of negative thoughts (voices) which bombard us on a daily basis. It's little wonder our society's people are severely depressed, which creates the "Worst of times."

How do we stop the voices from destroying us? How do we regain our self-confidence? Firstly, let's all get on the same page and determine what self-confidence is.

I believe most will agree with the general accepted definition of "Self-Confidence" as having the inner confidence of being equal to accomplish the task to be performed. For instance, I am very self confident I can clear the bar of the high jump at 4 'of height, but I'm not so self confident I can successfully clear it at 10' foot.

Confidence is based in the knowledge and proven fact in your ability to successfully perform a task, such as jumping over the five foot pole, but arrogance is based in unproven belief of one's ability to perform a task, such as jumping the pole at the ten Foot height.

This obvious difference in attitude is what defines the difference between confidence and arrogance, once a very desirable trait, the other not so desirable.

We now know what self-confidence is, how do we regain it? The first thing is to STOP and reflect on our recent past. Except for a minute few, the position we find ourselves in is not our fault or of our doing. We did not quit our job, the job quit us. We began with a $ 500 credit card debt and now it's $ 1800 because you could only pay a little bit, not even the minimum.

Now that we realize our situation is ours to deal with, but not entirely ours in creating, we change from a defeatist attitude of "I'm helpless," to an aggressive "I'm getting out of this mess" attitude. Let's go to our sources of self-confidence.

1. Past performance is a major self-confidence builder. You were Sales Person of the Month eight times. You were good at what you did and you proved it through accomplishments. You did it before, you can do it again.

2. It may be difficult but do not become a hermit and hibernate as it's important to remain in reality. We see a person we know, who got a sales job, and we know we're much better at sales than he is. Your attitude will change because you know if he can do it, you can too.

3. Using Verbal Persuasion techniques as a means of changing an attitude and / or behavior, with Positive Verbal Re-enforcement. It's a scientific fact, positive verbalization works. Tell yourself how good you are (out loud) every night and every morning.

4. The use of Imagery, which is the ability to create the desired positive results in your mind. You'll often see gymnasts before they perform, slowly moving their bodies as they visualize the moves in their performance in their mind. While waiting for the interview to begin, visualize you doing well, shaking the interviewer's hand smiling as you have the job, and leaving the office to celebrate.

Use these readily available techniques on a daily basis in order to restore your self-confidence and chase the negative voices out of your head. If someone wonders why a baseball coach would know these methods or wonder what this has to do with baseball, believe me, it has everything to do with baseball and sports in general.

Athletes are subjected to self-doubt on a daily basis. A well trained athlete or coach will know how to counter act the negative.

Source by Jim Bain

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Dr. Ravindra Aher

Dr. Ravindra Aher is management theatrics stimulator and skills evangelist with rich corporate & academic experience of 25 years, having worked with multinational companies and academic institutions of repute. Always keen to share his knowledge and he is passionate about bridging the prevailing skill gap in students & corporate through structured value added programs. He is an avid blogger and twitter enthusiast. He previews books and promote good reading culture in young generation.

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Categories: 21st Century Skills

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