Experts generally agree that at least 65% of interpersonal communication is through body language. What is body language? Body language is the meaning associated to physical movement or expression. A simple example is that if you are smiling then people will assume that you are happy. Alternately, if you are frowning then depending on the frown people will assume that you are upset, angry or deep in thought.
Another example is that if someone walks into a room with a good posture, relaxed smile and makes eye contact then most people will assume that he is confident. Alternately, if someone steps into a room timidly, slouched over and gazing at the floor, then most people are likely to assume that this person lacks confidence suggesting that people even notice this person.
If you would like to increase your sense of self confidence then a good place to start would be to pay attention to your body language. That is not to say that you should not consider other avenues such as counseling where appropriate, only that body language is a clear and easy place to start. The nice thing about tackling body language is that you can do it one step at a time at your own pace.
Firstly, take note of your posture. Does it project an aura of confidence or timidity? Make sure that you stand and walk with a confident posture. No-one is asking you to be courageous or to take charge of anything – just to improve your own posture for your own sake. Get used to the feeling of walking around in this new confident posture. Some people may actually have some difficulty with this change. They may feel that they are trying to be something they are not. If you are thinking that way then stop thinking that way! If nothing else, your improved posture is beneficial to your health and everyone has a right to be healthy. There is nothing honorable about walking around looking at the ground and developing neck, back and shoulder problems.
After you have become acclaimed walking confidently with a good posture, begin developing eye contact with people. If you find this very awkward then begin by looking over people's shoulders, or just above their heads, as if looking at something behind them. As you get used to this, beginning making eye contact. It just takes a little practice. By the way, once you start walking confidently you may notice people looking at you more. Do not let this put you off. It is a good sign. It means that people are noticing you and they are finding you interesting in some way. You will likely find that this extra attention will serve you well as positive reinforcement.
The next step after making eye contact is smiling. Some people struggle with this and feel more like a deer made in headlights when it comes to smiling. If that is the case then practice smiling at home. You can do this in a mirror to begin with, but as you walk around your home, imagine that you have seen a good friend across the street and express a warm smile.
Finally, when you are out in public, smile. It's difficult to imagine a more attractive expression on a person than a warm and friendly smile. As with eye contact, if you find this difficult at first then you can look off into a crowd or into the distance and smile. People will just assume that you have seen something that you liked. Occasionally you will develop a sense of ease in doing this and other people will smile back. The important thing is to be persistent, make this a habit and you will improve your sense of self confidence.
Source by Mark J Preston
Dr. Ravindra Aher
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